A great tragedy has happened at the Birn compound. On Thanksgiving Day my beloved Ronald Reagan bobblehead had its head stolen. We here at Life On Union Ave 2 have compiled a list of potential culprits, we have a pretty good idea who did it. We ask that anyone who can provide information to please leave a note.
Our first suspect is Mark, aka MJ, aka Adolph. Mark is known for his shifty eyes and witty retorts. Would anyone be surprised if he stole the head? 
Next up is Lydia, aka mom, aka mama. Lydia has a history of stealing bobbleheads. My sources indicate that when she was a child she regularly ripped the heads off of dolls. 
Next up we have Brian, aka B. Brian has been known to play pranks at the Birn Compound in the past. But does he have the guts and gumption to rip President Reagan's head off?
Next we have Janna, aka Mrs. Birn, aka Mommy. Janna has been known to destroy things of my past before, including but not limited to tearing down my President Reagan dining room picture. Janna has the motive but does she really think she can get away with it?
Next we have Nate, aka papa, aka daddy. Nate has the dastardly look of a bobblehead criminal, it's hidden behind the optimistic artist stuff but it's certainly there. But did Nate have the guts to steal it that evening?
Finally we have James, aka, well, he's not known as anything else. He would like to think of himself as cool but he's not. In any event, we know that James was at one time a church pick pocket. Has he returned to his formerly criminal ways? Please help us solve this crime against humanity. One of these people has stolen our beloved Reagan bobblehead, please, we beg you to help us solve this mystery. To the mystery machine!
8 comments:
I'm insulted that I wasn't even considered. And why have you waited so long to report this supposedly 'dastardly' crime?
Seeing as I was quite clearly at the beach at the time, I couldn't have done it.
Seeing that my double chin weighs me down, I probably did not have the energy to do such a thing!
You forgot the most obvious culprit:
SEAMUS! (You think that dogs can't get out of their crates, think again!)
ps- is that baby kicking yet?! when do you find out if you are have a prince or princess?
Seriously, I don't know.
And seeing as the only criteria for being a suspect is having your picture taken by the Birn Family Camera (The BFC), I'm quite glad to not have had my picture taken by Steve or Janna.
Although, it is a little sad not to even be considered a suspect, even in print.
People, people. We narrowed the subjects down. Those of you who were not named were proven to be innocent due to certain evidence obtained by LOUA2.
Even I was accused of taking Ronald's
head. I was greatly insulted. I think I'm owed an apology.
"Certian evidence?" No "certian evidence" could be used to remove suspicion from me... Honestly, does Janna NOT KNOW ME? The "quiet one" should always be a suspect. :)
I *DO* have photographic proof that the Gipper still had his head on straight at 7:00 that night. (I took a picture of the bobblehead, but elected not to put it on Flickr. Not that I'm ashamed of your collectables!)
Using initials only, I think that the most likely culprit from the list is ***. Just a hunch, realy.
why doesn't anyone suspect me? i was there that night too, only nobody noticed me as usual. As usual.
Post a Comment