A great mystery has unfolded here on Union Avenue involving the wherabouts of a package of bacon. Said bacon (center cut, Meijer brand, on sale 2 for $4 this week) had been carefully placed in the refridgerator on Monday. It was still there on Tuesday morning. Not much thought was given to it until last night, when it was desired and intended for dinner. It was at that time that it's absence was brought to light. All attempts to locate the missing pork product have proved to be in vain. Drawers have been pulled out, shelves have been cleared, the whole appliance stripped bare, and it can conclusively be said that the bacon no longer resides in the Birn fridge.
So what happened to it? We already concluded that the bacon had at one point been in the fridge. Neither of Steve nor I had eaten it. While we can't rule out pregnancy induced dementia leading to misplacing the center cut goodness, it seems unlikely. I have no recollection at all of removing the bacon from it's appointed place in the cooling unit. What is left to assume? The obvious answer is...
...that it was stolen. Clearly what has occured is theft, not only of very tasty pork product (itself a heinous crime), but of our peace of mind. Someone has breeched the high security surrounding the Birn Compound, entered the house, and (scorning all other objects) taken away our bacon. We can't begin to imagine the reasons behind such treachery and we don't want to. We just want our bacon back. It cost us $2, after all.
The police have been shockingly unhelpful.
7 comments:
Our prime suspects are Agnus, who paid an unannounced and uninvited visit to the compound yesterday and Maggie, who is constantly demanding free food and who understands how to breach our highly secure compound.
It begs the question why would these two individuals conspire to steal our pork products? And we must ask them, why would you conspire against us to steal our pork?
Haha, that is funny, as I had Meijer center cut bacon for dinner last night (BLTs) with the kiddos. Maybe it was Owen.... :)
I don't know about Marion, but I'm pleading the fifth.
The mystery is why was it Meijer Bacon and not D&W bacon....
Now solve that!
It was obviously Seamus, understandably bitter and angry from years of being treated like, well... how Steve treats him.
That, or it was the international Jewish conspiracy making sure Steve's diet is kosher.
GEORGE!!!!
Sorry Mrs. B... Five month olds can be difficult to keep track of at times. He must have eaten it on the drive home. I KNEW I should have fed him before we left...
Check for Terry's foot prints...
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